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The past ten years I have been traveling back and forth from San Diego to Riverside County, with an aging mom and her husband who is ill. I was trying to help her. My children were school age when I started. I would take off from work visit her and take care of the items that needed attention. Drive the two hours back to pick up my children from school. Then back to work to accomplish the goal of getting my children through school and educated. The years have not been kind. My oldest child filling in for me every chance he got. His gentle sould knowing the pain his mom was in. Our long conversation of the reality of aging and pain it brings. Left us both many times in tears, many nights not sleeping trying to figuire it all out. How can I explain th perplexity of planning the future of your children and helping the aging? Then divorce and most recently one of my oldest child passed away. My child trying to hold me together as I faced the reality of what God allows in our life. I working two jobs to stay in the reality of the responsibility parenthood brings left me with little time, it had to be managed for maximum results each second.
What am I doing I thought and still think to myself as I take pictures of the nearby community she lives in. Photo journalism isn't always pretty or beautiful however one has to look at God's people that way. God's people are alway beautiful reguardless of who or what they are experiencing. During this past year I have written to local churches asking them to pray. Shock at the flit that affects the children, families I have photograph. Realizing I am helpless in this situation, a fish out of water, like a sea lion studdenly thownin into farm county. What would it do? Like the birds in the photograph do you stay and keep fighting or surrender? There is nothing to surender when you are working with the old and aging. You have no other choice! You figh the good fight and pray His grace be with me.
Photo journalism should discrib in photographs what words can not express. I have to tell you I have not edited these photographs very much and I hope you get the picture of what I have been looking at the last few years. New construction in areas where the flity water is running into a pond of muck. Birds that get stuck when they walk in it. A church that advertise to attend right next to it, however when I wrote the church and ask them what they are doing to make a difference in the community they didn't answer. I explained I was visiting in the area and shocked at what I saw. The acceptance of it all is what I don't understand.
Trying to make a living in whatever way I can to servive and not just work for free, financially supporting my mom and her sick husband, my own children and household, I took up photography to add to my finances. Photographers must draw the line what they are able to do. I can not and will not fight for a city that allows people to dumb things along the road side and turn the other cheek constantly to the point of not caring for it's people. It is not my call in life. I believe the Lord calls us to serve at times in our lives, and he calls us out of service if he know our own family needs attention. The city where my mom lives is not my personal issue, although I believe I can be used to draw attention to the fact it is affects people who live here. Yes, I have written letter to the city as well. Both letters were unreplied. I am unseen person in this community I do not own or rent in the area, maybe my photographs will be seen and heard. My life has left me without words to express the damage done by cities communities who offer little hope for people.